sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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