You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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