You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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