Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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