when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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