Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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