brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize