You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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