I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize