your room smells of hookers.
And success
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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