You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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