She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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