Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize