see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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