i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
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Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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