This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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