5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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