he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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