you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Semen is not good for contacts.
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He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
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Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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