At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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