how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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