he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize