im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's blow job season.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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