Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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