Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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