Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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