the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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