Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize