Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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