Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
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I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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