Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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