I need to stop coming to work sober
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize