Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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