She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize