you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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