I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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