I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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