So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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