I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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