I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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