that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize