We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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