Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No stitches, just platelets and will power
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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