i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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