I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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