Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize