ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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