Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize