Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize