I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize