Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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