There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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